He's been around us so long. It's like he's blood and he's really easy-going and gets on with everyone. But in fact they think he's related and I'm the farm girl down the road. 

So when I notice the behaviour like him disappearing out of the house, making up excuses that he's gonna see a mate. I thought to myself. Oh my God. He might be having an affair.

He obviously became a gambler. And it's a little bit like having an affair. Not with a person, but with an actual addiction which is gambling. He was basically gambling with our lives. Gambling with his children's lives and mine.

So there's a duty little secret that's come out. And not only the person obviously that's a gambler but the family feels ashamed. 

So I'd suggest to a family that they need to go to the service they feel comfortable with. Because the providers out there are Maori and Pakeha. You need to get the right people in and as many people if you don't like them. Get someone else. They need to see what suits them.